March 23, 2015

When Jill gets nervous, she says, “Oh gosh.” The number of “Oh, goshes” is in direct proportion to the amount of fear and anxiety she feels. When I took her to college the “Oh goshes” started days before freshman orientation. We tried to combat it with Ben Folds’ song, “Still Fighting It.” We sang that song over and over. But “Oh gosh” usually followed.

Tonight Jill knows that at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning she is to be at the hospital to have her first baby. She is a week overdue. She told me that the “Oh goshes” started last night. Who isn’t afraid the night before life changes forever? Once you become a mother, there is no going back, no career change, “no way out–but through.” I tried to acknowledge that her fears are normal and that everything will be fine. What is so hard to communicate is how much you can love a little person and how nothing else matters when the baby finally arrives.

When you go off to college, it seems natural to fight growing up, but when you become a mother, it seems natural to fully embrace becoming the grown-up, the nurturer, and the protector of a brand new life. I’m so excited for her I can barely contain myself!

“Still Fighting It” by Ben Folds

Good morning, son.
I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke?
Maybe some fries?
The roast beef combo’s only $9.95
It’s okay, you don’t have to pay
I’ve got all the change

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It’s so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We’re still fighting it, we’re still fighting it
And you’re so much like me
I’m sorry

Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we’ll both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you ’bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you’d feel the same things

Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It’s so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We’re still fighting it, we’re still fighting it
You’ll try and try and one day you’ll fly
Away from me

Good morning, son
I am a bird

It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you’d feel the same things

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It’s so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We’re still fighting it, we’re still fighting it
Oh, we’re still fighting it, we’re still fighting it

And you’re so much like me
I’m sorry

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5 comments on “March 23, 2015

  1. You wrote such a poignant piece – love connects us and sustains us – but sometimes it’s just so bittersweet. Thank you for writing,

  2. raeily says:

    I remember that anticipation, those nerves.
    I hope your daughter has a good experience and that you get to hold your grandchild soon.

    I love how you included the song lyrics.

  3. elsie says:

    What a blessing for you! I was waiting for my first grandchild only three months ago. Enjoy that baby!

  4. Lisa says:

    How exciting! I remember being so nervous in the 24 hour before going into the hospital before my first, and those nerves lasted until she was at least 3 weeks old. 🙂 I enjoyed the second so much more. I guess that maybe the best part of being grandma is just being able to enjoy it.

  5. Peg D says:

    Congratulations! Beautiful song. I just googled it and listened to the YOuTube. Oldest is a Junior in High School so that fly away is getting close. Enjoy your new grandbaby!

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